The Four F's
by HG59
Summary: A Crack-shot. Summary: Mukuro couldn't have Tsuna because Hibari took him. Enma also couldn't have Tsuna because Hibari took him. It's all Hibari's fault. Now, in a desperate attempt, these two leftovers try to pick up the pieces, and found love along the way. A short crack fic. Rated M for mature language and theme.


The Four F's- A Parody

**Rating: M**

**Warning: **Crack pairing, OOC, language, **yaoi, **mature and sexual content

**A/N: **Yes, this involves yaoi. If you are not comfortable then gtfo. Otherwise, you better not regret because I warned you, and continue reading. You can find out the reason why I wrote this on the bottom. Enjoy!

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Okay, let's just write some crack fucking fluff for fun, otherwise known as the Four F's.

MukuroXEmna

Emma was having a horrible life and though he says that he's fine, he had to admit to our interviewer HG that somewhere deep down, he was cursed.

I mean, look at him, HG commented. It's already obvious that he has problems. He has tons of bandages all over his face and body, and he first shows up all emo and depress looking. To add to his misfortune, he's constantly bullied and fails at school. It's a miracle he's still passing middle school with those grades. And I mean, come on! Middle school? He can do a LOT better than straight up failing.

Then he's paired up with Tsuna, making them the uke-est pairing ever. All their little cutesy acts of hesitantly walking home together, holding hands, hugging, CONFESSING, kissing and doing each other is so...DAMN CUTE.

Heck, I can't ever imagine who would be the seme in this relationship! Doujins and fanfics about them clearly show that they won't be making moves on each other soon. And is that a TsunaxFemBasilxEmna fic I see? Tsuna, I understand how your everyone's slut and all but Emna?

Then again, looks can be deceiving; look at Tsuna for example. Nobody would've thought that a cute boy with soft outrageous hair and doe-like eyes would be a mafia boss (and everyone's bitch). Only when he has those HDW eyes does he look sexy. But then again, Emna does have those awesome eyes...let's continue.

But if you really think about it, there's a reason for everything. He's constantly bullied because of his girly looks and those guys just want to fuck him senseless, but they can't because they don't want to emotionally scar him (as if he already isn't from the bullying). Instead, the only way they can come close to touching him is by hitting him in places that LOOK like they're bullying him but they're NOT (such as his face to touch his cheek and hair, his lower half to touch his dick, etc.). To add more to his bandages, Mukuro abuses him.

And why is Mukuro in the picture you ask?

It's not that complicated. I mean, first it started out as 692718, but the two semes demanded that their little tuna chose one of them, thus starting a competitive and possessive war. This war included many embarrassing and OOC scenes where they try cheesy tactics to win Tsuna's love.

Unfortunately for our pineapple sadist, his methods were not that appealing to our slutty tuna and Hibari's ways were cheesy enough to win his heart. So now you see Mukuro's dilemma? He couldn't stand seeing his love with his rival.

But how did his sob story connect to Emna? Well, when Emna came to Namimori, he was all of those things stated in the beginning. So yeah, he's basically Tsuna's carbon copy minus the hair and eyes. Tsuna was the first non-bullying kid that befriended Emna, so like any other cliche romance, he fell in love with his savior. When he heard that Tsuna was a homo, he went gay with joy (pun intended).

But alas, shit had to go down and his happiness fell before he even confessed. He found his crush and the scary Hibari in the middle of something VERY intimate, causing his wet dreams to be crush. In depression, he jerked himself off with the image of Tsuna's flush face in mind and pretended that he was in a threesome with them and was just waiting for a turn that would never arrive.

In desperation and humiliation, our heroine (yes, mistake intended because he's just that girly) drown himself in underage drinking provided by his trusty guardians because they couldn't handle seeing their boss hurt (and the alcohol relieved his pain). His blind guardians failed to see that he noticeably left their house and wandered into the streets.

That's when he drunkenly saw Mukuro sulking in a corner. He sat down with him and they both began to complain their troubles to one another. They agreed and laughed so many times at how wonderfully uke Tsuna was; Emna was beginning to somber up.

As their laughter died down, they stare at each other for a moment and then slam their lips into the other, and began a kissing war. The next morning, they found themselves in a hotel, fully naked and Mukuro still IN him. Apparently they fucked each other senseless so many times last night that both their dicks hurt from comming so hard and Emna's ass was bruised and torn so bad that he couldn't even lie down on it.

And the thought that they DID each other last night made both of them hard again and they just continued to fuck each other until noon. When they did finish their little activity ( or when they couldn't cum anymore), they awkwardly laid in the shitty hotel bed and stared at each other.

Emna, being the weak uke he is, fell asleep from having all of his energy used up. Mukuro watched as his one night lover slept in a cutesy way ( not cuter than Tsuna of course, his love for him didn't fade away in one night). His hand brushed a stand of hair from the flush face in front of him and a little part of him ( a LITTLE part) squeezed from warmth and he too fell asleep.

Thus began their new relationship of enemies with benefits.

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**A/N: **So, how was it? I wrote this random and extremely vulgar crack pairing for a good reason. The idea came to me when I was pissed off about something about 4 months ago and in anger, I wrote something to vent. And wa la, this was born! I seriously had no idea how I thought of this, and I hope it made you laugh (or at least smile) because I know I enjoyed writing it.


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